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Diane Pomerantz
The Journey of Writing a Memoir–Destination: Unknown
May 3, 2018   


“We are going, heaven knows where we are going,
We’ll know we’re there.
We will get there, heaven knows how we will get there,
We know we will.

It will be hard we know
And the road will be muddy and rough,
But we’ll get there.

We know we will. We know we will.”
Lyrics from Woyaya by Osibisa, 1971


I’m pleased to introduce  Diane Pomerantz, author of Lost in the Reflecting Pool as our Virtual Book Club guest this month. Diane is a psychotherapist who digs deeply into the process of understanding herself and healing herself from an abusive marriage and breast cancer. As a therapist myself, I’ve enjoyed reading her book which explores the hallways of psyche and heart deeply and with compassion. Please join us for a enlivening and illuminating discuss on the power of writing to heal.


Diane Pomerantz
Author of Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a memoir 

Lost in the Reflecting Pool is a memoir about my marriage to a man who was interesting, brilliant, charming and a narcissist. It is the story of surviving in an emotionally abusive marriage while going through treatment for an aggressive cancer and finally breaking free and growing from the experience. A major theme in my book is how we neglect to pay attention to the things we do see, the clues, our own internal “watchdog,” which can guide us if we would only trust ourselves.


My Journey to Write Lost in the Reflecting Pool

Process … from the very beginning it has been a process. I started keeping a journal in 1997 when I began psychoanalysis. I was married, we had struggled with infertility problems, finally had created a family through adoption and a successful IVF pregnancy, moved into a wonderful house and I was depressed. A year after starting analysis I was diagnosed with a very aggressive breast cancer. Initially I thought I would write about that journey. Little did I know that cancer would seem like an insignificant problem compared to the mind-devastating, gas-lighting betrayals and mind-tricks I was to experience within my marriage as I fought for my life medically. Little did I realize this had actually been going on for years, subtly … this had been my depression.


So the focus of my writing changed …. it became cathartic; it was the raw expression of the pain and anguish that was my life. Finally, when I separated, I continued to write but with two children to raise and working full-time, whenever I returned to write, I found myself re-writing chapter seven over and over again … this went on for years. Once my children were in college, my writing became more focused, and with increased understanding came increased distance from the pain. The narrative of my life began to unfold, and then that, too, began to change. What’s been most fascinating has been the discoveries I’ve realized since my memoir was completed and published. The process of understanding and healing did not end when the writing was done. As a psychologist, I’m not new to psychotherapy … I have had a lot of it over the years, and since I have finished writing my memoir I feel more grounded than I have ever felt before. I discovered that having written my memoir continues to heal me in ways that astound me.


You will gain/learn:

  • The importance of trusting what you see and what you know “in your gut” to be true
  • Signs of being in a relationship with an emotionally abusive narcissist
  • We will discuss whether it is necessary to forgive in order to heal/move on
  • How it’s possible to move on even when bad things happen
  • We’ll talk about writing techniques that can help make writing through the pain easier
  • How the unconscious continues to help us heal through our journey



Diane Pomerantz is the author of Lost in the Reflecting Pool: a memoir (She Writes Press, October, 2017). She has been a practicing Clinical Psychologist in Baltimore, Maryland for the past 38 years where she works with children, adolescents and adults. She runs Healing through Writing Groups in her practice. She is an expert blogger for Psychology Today, and her essays and poems have appeared in Motherwell Magazine, Adoption Today, Story Circle Journal and other online journals. Her websites are www.dianepomerantz.com and www.drdianepomerantz.com


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