Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW
April Member Webinar
April 21, 2017
11 AM PDT 12 PM MDT 1 PM CDT 2 PM EDT
It isn’t easy being a man or writing about men. Yet we all have men in our lives. We were all conceived in the magic moment a lucky sperm was allowed entrance by a welcoming egg. Fathers, sons, brothers, uncles, grandsons; many are important figures in our lives, but writing about them can be difficult.
As a an author and psychotherapist for more than 40 years, I have helped men and the women who love them to live long and well. In this seminar, I will help you better understand the nature of men so you can write more deeply and honestly about the males in your life.
In my first book, Inside Out: Becoming My Own Man, I recall the day my father took an overdose of sleeping pills and was hospitalized at Camarillo State Hospital, north of Los Angeles. I was five years old and grew up wondering what happened to my father and whether I would someday “go crazy” and end up in the “nuthouse.” When my first son, Jemal, was born in 1969, I made a vow that I would be a different kind of father than my father had been able to be for me and I would work to create a different kind of world where families didn’t go through the traumas that my family experienced.
After reading Mark Wolynn’s book, It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle, I expanded my understanding of men to include my mother’s father, the man I was named after, who died suddenly when my mother was five years old. My mother never talked about him, but he was always a powerful, yet shadowy, presence in my life.
I came to realize that I could never feel totally successful in my life, or in my relationships, until I came to peace with my father and the other male members of my family.
In this revealing and engaging hour you’ll learn:
- How to understand the conscious and subconscious power men have in our lives.
- Why men are the way they are—From the Y chromosome to the male brain.
- To recognize the importance of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) in understanding men.
- How to get inside the heart and soul of men who are reluctant to talk so you can “hear the sound that male cells sing.”
- Why we must address male shame and how to tell the truth about men without wounding them further.
Jed Diamond, Ph.D., LCSW, is one of the world’s leading experts on men’s health. He has written 14 books including international best-sellers, Surviving Male Menopause, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places, and The Irritable Male Syndrome: Understanding and Managing the 4 Key Causes of Depression and Aggression. His most recent book, The Enlightened Marriage: The 5 Transformative Stages of Relationships and Why the Best is Still to Come was released in 2016. Visit him at www.MenAlive.com and www.TheEnlightenedMarriage.com.
This is our monthly member webinar and is for NAMW members only. If you are a NAMW member, you will receive the webinar access information via email and can also find it in the Members Area by clicking the Event Phone Numbers link.
If you are not a NAMW member yet, we encourage you to join! Click here to learn about what other benefits are reserved for our members only.
I’m really looking forward to the “Problem of Men in Memoir” and will enjoy meeting those who would like to join me. I’m in the process of writing a memoir, “From Madness to Manhood: In Search of My Lost Father.” I’ll enjoy sharing and learning from you.
Bravo on these “male” topics!
Yes, we live in a #male dominated world but are men really treated equally regarding “emotions” and their personal #stories behind them? Can men tell their inner-heart’s story from a naked truth perspective?
Having served as a board certified clinical chaplain for 12 1/2 years in a trauma II, acute care regional hospital I visited with many #men during one of their most vulnerable times during their life journey.
As a certified #chaplain I serve the #emotional and/or #spiritual needs of All people, All world views.
I don’t profess to be someone with a PhD. or have answeres. I am a listener who walks through the doors of the heart with people to help them discover their #journey. A #soul companion.
Jed Diamond’s #memoir work seems to be filling an important void on multiple levels.
I will disclaim, I have not read Jed’s #books yet. I have only read the overview themes. I am fascinated to hear more and #learn from Jed’s #journey.
Thank you #NAMW for illuminating this topic.
~ Cynthia
Twitter @health_chaplain
Facebook + Instagram @cynthiakomlo
#CME #APC #JedDiamond #menandmemoir #memoirwriting #wellbeing #emotionalhealth #mentalillness #healing #integrativehealth
Thank you so much Cynthia for your comments! I am sure you have been a deep solace to the men you have worked with, and I know too that too many men have been silenced in their hearts, and wounded by a society that demanded macho posturing as a way to be a real man. I’m glad you will be with us at this important webinar, and thank you for sharing your ideas and views here.
Yes, many women have been abused and traumatized by men. (And many men have been abused and traumatized by women, and by men. And many women have been abused and traumatized by women.) Yes, in many ways the US society is a patriarchy. But not all men are responsible for this. I am sick and tired of books and articles casting the generic, “men,” as villains. Not all women are “good” and not all men are “bad.” Not all women are powerless and not all men are powerful. We are all different and we live in a complex web of relationships and inter-relationships. I would like to read someone sophisticated enough to understand this instead of “why men are the [bad] way they are.” While of course there are sexual differences and traits along a variety of issues, I am not aware of scientific evidence there is an absolute “man’s brain” versus a “woman’s brain.” Can a pathologist examine brains at random and determine the sex of the deceased? I am unaware of such a scientific advance.
I realize NAMW is woman-oriented and is affiliated with a press that is only interested in women writers. I have been at NAMW conferences where men are treated or referred to as the enemy. (If there was a non-sexist NAMW, I would join it.) But I don’t believe only women have the right to write memoir (or anything else) or that “memoir” doesn’t count unless it focuses on the trauma inflicted only by men (even though there are elements of both in my upcoming memoir).
Less generalizations and stereotyping, please.
John
Dear John, Of course, I agree with you about stereotypes, and we should all strive to watch out for that kind of writing. I’m not sure which books or programs at NAMW you are referring to re: male bashing. I know that many men and women struggle with how to portray their family members and friends in a fair way, and we do our best here to help people balance truth telling with a story that offers more than blame. You have only heard our public programs, but in the member programs we are able to go even deeper in exploring the tools and attitudes that can help with healing the wounds of both men and women. Our many male presenters have also offered such great support to both our male and female members and attendees on these difficult to resolve issues, and I appreciate them very much. By the way, NAMW is not affiliated with a women’s press. My books have been published by She Writes Press, which seeks to offer parity in the publishing world, and we also recommend other presses as part of our conversations that you may have missed. I would like you to tell me which specific NAMW conference where men were the enemy–as I don’t allow conversation to go in that direction on our programs. Callers may have had issues that they express, but I and other presenters seek to present a balanced view. In fact, when I started NAMW, people urged me to make it for women only and I refused. I value the experiences and opinions of both sexes; I have sons and grandsons, and many of my mentors and close friends happen to be men. There are many books out there that can offer you a sophisticated reading about men and women, and I hope you find them. In the meantime, I hope you can join us for Jed’s presentation. I think it will give you some of the support and sophisticated layered responses you are looking for. And upcoming in May, not on the website yet, will be a Free webinar program of all male presenters–except for me! Hope you can join us for that too. Best of luck in your reading and writing life.
Hi Jed, After almost 70 years, I have opened myself to all sorts of ideas about what is wrong with me, because that is a good starting point for self improvement. Writing my memoir was a sobering exercise in discovering I didn’t start out perfect, but hopefully became slightly more so as I grew. This whole process of reading and writing memoirs has turned out to be one of the greatest self-development activities of my life.
In the early 2000s, when I first stumbled on the rising tide of memoir writing, which I later dubbed the Memoir Revolution I was searching for a community of writers with whom I could learn and grow. Linda Joy and NAMW welcomed me with open arms. I have been teaching classes, attending events, and speaking at NAMW ever since.
I’m not sure what problem with men you are going to discuss, but one thing I’ve discovered that’s a very disturbing problem FOR men who are writing memoirs. There are so few places that welcome us with the same warmth and acceptance as NAMW.
In fact, after I joined NAMW, I discovered there is an active women-only movement of life writing and self-reflection. It was a movement that existed long before I knew, and I’m sure a lot of women knew about it but was intentionally hidden from me. Linda Joy broke out of that restriction, and opened her organization to include people of my gender. In NAMW, both men and women come together to tell their stories.
I think it’s really important to be able to find one’s story in a healthy environment where men and women can be open with each other about their pains and attempts to grow. Together we can get over our stereotypes, and at the same time forgive each other for harboring stereotypes. The human mind is wired to create “us” and “them” – and from that division, we routinely create apparently irreconcilable differences. Fortunately, the human mind is also wired to develop stories in which we can transcend our divisions and form association.
I am grateful to be associated with an organization that enables people of any gender to find and share their stories in a safe, nurturing environment.
Best wishes
Jerry Waxler, Author of Memoir Revolution
Jerry, Thanks for your comments. I think there is a revolution going on all over the world where ordinary people are telling the truth about their lives, their loves, and ways in which they have been abused, neglected, abandoned, and also nurtured, cared for, and cherished. Its a time of major change.
Writing has always been used as an opportunity to speak our deepest truths and memoir gives us the opportunity to create the story of our lives, which can touch the lives of all.
Thanks for your focus on this emerging revolution.
I’ve only recently met Linda and learned about NAMW. I’ve written mostly non-fiction books (14 so far), but have always thought about writing a memoir. Now is the time and I’m excited to share what I’ve learned about men over the years and learn more about the art of memoir writing.
I’ll look forward to our discussion today.