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February 2010 Newsletter | Issue #30
 The Personal History of a Book's Life--The Power of Memoir
by Linda Joy Myers, President, National Association of Memoir Writers
My newest book The Power of Memoir--How to Write Your Healing Story has just been released by Jossey-Bass. I'm thrilled about this, because the road to getting to a large publisher has been long and confusing. Often I had to traverse through unknown terrains to get where I am now: holding a brand new copy of my book. The cover is soft and silky, it glows in colors of amber, the pages smell good inside. Confession: I'm a book sniffer.
Nine years ago, I decided to write my first book, which became Becoming Whole: Writing your Healing Story. I organized this book from the workshops I'd been teaching therapists for several years, and wrote it in five months. I researched editors, joined self-publishing groups, and learned about the book world step by confusing step. The book was published first by a very small press, but the experience was rife with misunderstandings and problems for three years. During that time I learned about publicity: what you have to do to get people to buy books. I gave talks, workshops, and book events all over the bay area, and even in a few independent bookstores in the Midwest.
Once I was free of the contract, I went on to self-publish the book again under my own press, still learning the ropes of the self-publishing world. I learned about ISBN numbers, Bowker, The Library of Congress, Lightning Source, Amazon, layout, design, paper, fonts, print companies, shipping, and distribution. Most of all, I discovered that a whole world existed about publishing and books that I had always taken for granted. No longer!
In the meantime, I'd started my organization The National Association of Memoir Writers because of my passion to support and develop the world of memoir writing, and eager to become involved with writers like you. I wanted to create a world of memoir writers that I could participate in every day and share my knowledge of how to begin, develop, and complete a memoir. In my writing life, I was writing a novel about WWII, and had traveled to England twice and to Germany to research it. Finally, the first draft was done, and I decided to pitch the novel at the East of Eden Conference in 2008, hoping to be published the traditional way, which I knew was best for a novel. [Read more]
Upcoming Events at NAMW
We have several events and new workshops that are being planned for the coming months at NAMW that will help the development of your skills as writers, memoirists, or personal historians. You can find all the finalized events outlined below, but please be sure to check out the NAMW website for up tot he minute additions.
 [Workshop Feb 2010] Discover the Story Amidst the Facts with Jerry Waxler (3) Three sessions
Dates: February 8, 15, 22, 2010
Time: 4 PM PST | 5 PM MST | 6 PM CST | 7 PM EST
Cost: $165.00 non-members | $145.00 NAMW Members-Click Here to Sign Up Now!
 [NAMW Teleseminar: Feb. 19, 2010] Sue William Silverman
Finding Your Literary Voice in Memoir
Date: Feb. 19, 2010
Time: 11 AM PST | 12 PM MST |1 PM CST | 2 PM EST
Cost: FREE FOR NAMW MEMBERS - Become a Member Today!
 [NAMW Teleseminar: March 12, 2010]: Brooke Warner
Who Needs Editing? No, Really…
Date: March 12, 2010
Time: 11 AM PST | 12 PM MST | 1 PM CST | 2 PM EST
Cost: FREE FOR NAMW MEMBERS - Become a Member Today!
 NAMW Telesummit April 2010: Free teleseminar featuring Kay Adams, Shiela Bender, Denis Ledoux, Alan Rinzler & Verna Dreisbach. Please visit http://www.NAMW.org as more details will be posted soon!
NAMW Featured Member:
We are pleased to announce that Martha Sarkissian has been selected by the NAMW Advisory Board as the NAMW Featured Member of the month for February 2010! Martha is a 2010 award winner in the Soul-Making Literary Contest within the Memoir prize category. Watch for more information about Martha's personal journey as a memoir writer at the NAMW website!
Congratulations, Martha!
9 Reasons to Write a Story About an Ordinary Life
by Jerry Waxler, NAMW Advisor Board Member
Editor's Note: This article is a follow-up to Jerry's Free Workshop Preview Teleseminar entitled, "Why Write a Story About an Ordinary Life," that was held on Monday February 1st as a preview of his upcoming workshop, Discover the Story Amidst the Facts, which begins this Monday, January 8th. There are still a few spots left, so be sure to click here to sign up today!
Benefits to you: Simply by making the effort to tell the story you gain many benefits during the process.
- By searching for your own story, you become a story teller. Story telling is a wonderful life skill and craft. Learning how to reframe and organize your memories gives you practice and motivation. And it's fabulous brain exercise.
- By telling your story you develop a coherent sense of self , As you pull together various parts of your life into a sensible story, you develop a sense of continuity and purpose about who you are, where you've been and where you're going.
- Reframe and bring new wisdom to old stuff. Telling a story helps you find the words that give you a sense of mental ownership over old wounds, wounds, betrayals, regrets. And it helps bring clarity to parts of yourself you've never thought about. You are less ordinary than you think: It only looked ordinary because it was your life. Each of us unique, and to someone, somewhere, our lives are "different." To a city dweller, growing up on a farm is interesting and vice versa. With some imagination, research, and storytelling, you can find things about yourself to interest readers.
- The combined details of your life are different than anyone else's. Your cultural background, family dynamics, unique intersections and scenes are different from everyone else's.
- Your Dramatic tension was unique to you. From the decades of experience, fascinating scenes are tucked away in your memory. While writing a story those unique moments pop into mind, revealing interesting ways to visualize your highlights, lowlights, and unique dramas.
- The things you want to hide are the things that make a story. If you want to forget it, and you think you should never tell anyone, you are probably trying to hide the very things that make you interesting. If parts of your life were hard to live, you probably have a story that will be good to read. And when you stop hiding parts of yourself, you may find yourself becoming more interesting and authentic to others. "Ordinary" is simply not the measure of a good story: Readers want to read your story, not because you are spectacular. They read a book in order to sit back and let an author take them on a ride.
- Find the niche audience with whom you want to share your world. Niche audiences want to hear about a particular subject. Find the audience that resonates with your particular message. You can teach them or tell them things within the niche to fulfill their curiosity. If you are a veteran, or a nurse, or remember specific cultural moments that others may find fascinating, you can regale your audience with these memories. A.M. Homes wrote "Mistress's Daughter" and in addition to fulfilling my curiosity about adoption, she also educated me and others on this particular topic. Doreen Orion wrote "Queen of the Road" about her trip around the U.S. in an RV and used her story to tell retirees and other travelers what such an experience might feel like. Wh en he was in his 90's, Harry Bernstein wrote "Invisible Wall" about ordinary life in a Jewish neighborhood in England. Fascinating. A special case of a niche audience is an activist message. If you want to raise awareness about a particular situation, you can use your life experience to convey those points. Ashley Rhodes-Courter was an ordinary foster child who was on a mission to help other children in the system. Her book "Three Little Words" tells about her childhood, with the specific goal of educating others about how to help the system. Firoozeh Dumas grew up in an ordinary immigrant family and wrote a memoir "Funny in Farsi" to raise awareness of the fact that Iranians are people.
- Develop your language arts and let readers enjoy sharing words with you. Many books about ordinary people, like Mary Karr's "Liar's Club" or John Grogan's "Marley and Me" are the result of excellent writing not excellent lives. Memoir writing is a language art, like stand up comedy. You need good timing, and sensitivity to your audience, and lots of practice and skill-building.
- Readers long to understand the universal forces at work in individual lives. You have lived in the dynamic pressure of every day life. You suffered, achieved, argued, wept, loved, hated. All these things that make you human also work within the rest of us. When we read about your journey, we see parts of ourselves and try to decipher our own human condition.
For more of Jerry's writing about memoir writing, visit his blog. The blog contains an index to hundreds of essays on reading and writing memoirs and can be found at http://memorywritersnetwork.com/blog/index-to-the-essays-about-memoir-writing-on-this-blog/
Writing Exercises: The Power of Memoir --It makes us Brave
When my publisher suggested the title "The Power of Memoir--How to Write Your Healing Story" a tingle of excitement coursed through me. He understood the deep level of what my book is about--how powerful memoir writing really is. How much change, transformation, and the shaking up--in a good way--that happens when we are brave enough to put on the page our real experiences, our truths, our inner, exposed selves.
I was talking with a colleague the other day, someone who has written a great deal, and he told me it was like stripping off all his clothes to write a memoir. Being totally exposed and naked in front of the world--that's how he imagines he will feel when the book is published.
Having been through this stripping down and revealing process three times now, I can agree, but yet, I am pleased about what I learned more about myself as I faced these layers of exposure. I confronted why I would want to hide my truths, what I imagined people might say. I confronted each piece of my belief system, and came to the place of surrender to it all. My truth is my truth, and that's that.
As I teach and coach memoir writers, I notice that we must be gentle with the voice and courage emerging from the chrysalis of protection and silence. I urge all my students to write bravely, to spill out their stories, blasting past the inner and outer critics. This kind of practice, and it is a kind of meditation practice in a way, helps you to become even braver and bolder as you strip down the layers of yourself, revealing yourself to yourself in new ways, often for the first time.
When I grew up, I practiced the piano every day. At first, my technique was terrible and I made a lot of mistakes, but over time my fingers grew nimble over the keys. My body adjusted to the challenges of ever more complex pieces, and soon I whizzed by what had felt too difficult before.
So it is with writing. The more we practice writing, traversing through time and memory and translating those effluvia into words on the page, the better we become at being able to make the long ago past become real.
- What kind of concerns do you have about exposing your story--first to family or friends; a larger audience?
- Think about the bravest story you could write. Begin it today--and keep it private.
- List the five best memories of your life, and write about why.
- Write down the messages your inner critic whispers in your ear. Then, answer it back with affirmations about your decision to write.
Featured Memoir for February: The Power of Memoir - How to Write Your Healing Story, by Linda Joy Myers
From the back of the cover:
The Power of Memoir is a groundbreaking book that presents an innovative step-by-step program using memoir writing on the journey of emotional and physical healing. By drawing on the eight steps outlined in The Power of Memoir, you'll learn how to choose the significant milestones in your life and weave together your personal story. You'll discover how writing your truths and shaping your narrative propel you toward a life-changing transformation. The Power of Memoir offers the tools you need to heal the pain of the past and create a better present and a brighter future.
"With a gentle spirit and a clear voice, Linda Joy Myers creates a safe place for writers. With her eight-step program, Myers guides writers through the dark places of the heart, to ultimately arrive at a place of power and grace."--Sue William Silverman, author, Fearless Confessions: A Writer's Guide to Memoir and Because I Remember Terror, Father, I Remember You
"Myers makes a compelling case for the power of words as a form of healing and growth."--James W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., professor of psychology, University of Texas at Austin, and author, Opening Up and Writing To Heal
"A powerful and unique writing guide--one that will lead any writer straight to the heart of their richest material, help them heal, and then teach them how to shape it into literature. Destined to become a classic!"--Jordan E. Rosenfeld, contributing editor, Writer's Digest magazine, and author, Make a Scene: Crafting a Powerful Story One Scene at a Time
"This material is found nowhere else."--Sharon Lippincott, M.A., author, The Heart and Craft of Story Writing
Come out and Meet the Author, Linda Joy Myers at one of her upcoming events!
 February 21, 2010 4 PM | Mrs. Dalloway's Bookstore | Berkeley, CA
Linda Joy Myers is so pleased to return to Mrs. Dalloway's, an independent bookstore that has survived the mass exodus of several of Berkeley's long standing independent bookstores in the last two years. In fact, Mrs. Dalloway's has expanded! Please join Linda and student readers, and her publisher Alan Rinzler at this joyous event. Let your friends know about the event, and let's fill up the bookstore.
February 27, 2010 4 PM Book Passage Corte Madera, CA
Join Linda Joy at the flagship bookstore for a book launch party. Please come and bring your friends. Newly published student readers will read from the book, and we will celebrate with Verna Dreisbach, Linda's agent , who first recognized the important of the topic of writing as healing.
Featured Workshops & Third Party Events
 San Francisco Writer's Conference
The 7th Annual San Francisco Writers Conference (SFWC) will be February 12, 13, and 14, 2010, at the Mark Hopkins Hotel.
Keynoters are Steve Berry and Jacquelyn Mitchard.
Memoirists and people talking about and teaching different aspects of memoir will be Herbert Gold "Still Here!", Adair Lara, Jane Ganahl "Naked on the Page," and Wendy Merrill, "Falling Into Manholes." Victoria Zackheim's new collection is also memoir-oriented.
 So You Want to Find an Agent?
by Brooke Warner, NAMW Guest Expert
Editor's Note: Since we had two agents as our NAMW Member-only Telesminar Presenters for January, we thought it might be a good idea to gather some of Brooke's insights into working with an agent. Brooke is our NAMW Member-only Teleseminar Presenter for March. Please learn more about Brooke and the upcoming teleseminar on March 12, 2010 by clicking here. To learn more about Brooke, please click here.
A lot of writers are so excited when an agent shows interest in their work that they might ignore what seems like common sense: Ask this person questions about the nature of the relationship you're about to embark upon. Signing with an agent is as big a deal, or bigger, than signing with a publishing house, because this person (if all goes well) could be representing you for years to come. You don't want to sign with someone just because they say they like your work and they can sell your book. Find out more. Have a conversation. And work these questions out before you move forward:
5 Questions Every Writer Should Ask Their Would-be Agent
- What's your agency fee? The standard is 15% of the author's take, including advances and royalties; it might be as high as 20% if the agent is selling subrights (foreign, film, etc.) Find out if this is done by the agency, or whether they work with a third party. If you want to keep certain rights, such as merchandise or film/tv (many authors do), bring that up early on.
- What's your preferred method of communication? Find out whether your would-be agent is more of a phone or an email person. If you're a first-time author and you know you're going to have a lot of questions, ask them how they feel about that. If it's important for you to have an agent who returns your calls, you'll be better off knowing if you're dealing with someone who works exclusively over their BlackBerry.
- What do you envision for my book? Always assume that some work will be needed on your proposal/manuscript. Ask your would-be agent what they think your projects needs and where they think improvements might be made. This is not the time to fish for compliments, but you should be listening for whether or not you feel like they get your project. Does their feedback resonate with you? If not, it's probably not a good fit.
- What's your strategy for shopping the book? Find out how this agent shops. Will they only approach big houses, or will they consider small houses if you have a lead or an idea you want them to try? What kind of timeline do they have in mind in terms of when it might be ready to shop to publishers?
- Do you anticipate any costs on my part in order to get the manuscript to a shoppable place? Find out whether your would-be agent expects you to hire a freelance editor at your own cost. Find out if there are any out-of-pocket expenses they are thinking about before you sign—and make sure you can live with that before you move forward.
5 Questions Every Writer Should Ask Themselves about Their Would-be Agent
- Is this would-be agent someone you can imagine working with through the good and the bad?
Remember, agents are mediators and advocates whose job requires not only fighting on your behalf, but also pushing back on you at times. Is this someone you can work with when the going gets tough?
- How quickly does the agent respond to you?
This is an important one for people who are quick responders and expect that everyone else should be too. It may be enough just to ask for clarification so that you're not living with some expectation that will never be met. But ask yourself, realistically, if you can work with someone who might be slower to respond than you might prefer.
- What kinds of clients/projects do they represent?
Do your homework. Go to the agency website and find out what they represent and whether you like the books. Ask if they'll let you talk to one or two of their current clients. This is not out of line or even remotely inappropriate. The worst thing they can say is no.
- Are you interested in working with this agent on just your single project, or do you want the would-be agent to represent your for your entire career?
Make sure you sign on for something that makes sense for where you are in your career. If you want to take it book-by-book, that's okay, and it's okay to ask for that. It's also okay to voice your expectations that you want to work with someone who wants to be with you for the long haul.
- Do you understand the terms of the contract?
Make sure the payment provisions make sense to you and don't hesitate to ask questions about things you don't understand. You don't want to find out post-signing that you're not okay with some of the language. Take your time and go through the contract slowly and deliberately.
Since February is the shortest month of the year there aren't any extra days to spare this month, so keep writing!
If you have any questions, or would like to suggest a workshop topic please let us know. Email us at: info@namw.org.
Warm regards,
Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., MFT
President & Founder
Be Brave. Write Your Story.
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