I’m asked to be a judge of memoir writing contests from time to time. As I sort through the pages, I notice certain patterns and bad habits that lead me to put a manuscript in the “no” pile. Let’s look at some of the ways that a contest judge views the early pages of a manuscript. Note: if you have a lot of errors on the first or second page, your judge will not read on.

1. Misspelled words and incorrect grammar suggest carelessness or ignorance, suggested that you are not ready to be  a professional.
2. Incorrect placement of periods and quotes, and the framing of dialogue means the person was either careless or doesn’t know correct usage. “My mother loved the new dress,” Betty said, taking off her hat. Note that the comma is just in front of the quote, and the attribution is simple, using the word “said.” “Screamed, shouted, muttered”—are almost never necessary in creating believable dialogue, and it shows that you’re a beginner.
3. Misuse of “it’s” and “its,” ‘your” and “you’re” “there” and “their” are my pet peeves. These mistakes show up all over the internet and even in newspapers—shocking! But just because it is everywhere doesn’t make it right.
4. Flat language, such as using “there is, there were, there are”—too much of the verb form “to be” leaves the work listless. Nothing is happening when things are just “being.” Find active verbs, work on reconstructing sentences so they are moving along and interesting.
5. Dangling participles that don’t modify correctly show the person doesn’t understand how to diagram a sentence. Remember, in the old days, you had to know how things hooked together and you knew what modified what! “Driving in the car, the dog hung his head out the window.” Here, the dog hopefully was not driving! Correction:  “As I drove the car, the dog hung his head.”
6. At the beginning of a shorter essay or vignette, it’s best to bring in the action, characters and situation early in the story. Long rambling explanations of the back story or hard to follow pieces of history confuse the reader. What is the through line of the story? Where does it begin and end through the character’s eyes and experience?
7. What growth, change, insight, or new revelations does the main character—in a memoir it’s you!—have by the end of the vignette? Too often stories meander unfocused to the last page, and the reader does not get the point.

Final suggestions: As you write your first draft, allow yourself time to add in details and ask yourself questions: did I use scenes and sensual detail? Does the reader, who does not know me, see and experience my world through their senses? Does spell check give the correct answer for every word—often it’s incorrect for the default setting in grammar and spelling, and you have to check each word yourself.

Think of your work as having layers, each encounter with your manuscript leading to a more polished story. And, don’t forget to enjoy the process!

In this Issue: Back to School! Calling All Speakers! Upcoming NAMW Events NAMW Featured Members Beginnings by Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D. Writing Prompts for September NAMW Featured Work for September Events Outside of NAMW Featured Contributor Article Resources NAMW Website Benefits of Membership Login to Member’s Area Read Stories in the NAMW Cafe The Power of Memoir Links to Free Memoir Writing Resources Become a Member Contact us About NAMW Follow NAMW on Twitter September 2010 Newsletter | Issue #37 Back to School! By Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., NAMW President Have you noticed? The trees are already showing the colors of fall, kids are going back to school, and this time of year means–learning! There seems to be a trigger buried in my memory banks: notebooks and books, pens and pencils, erasers and chalk go with the smell of freshly polished floors, the well-coiffed teachers and their firm guidance into realms of learning. Whole worlds opened up through books and maps, reading and research. I always loved gathering pens, pencils, and paper, and even now I enjoy buying them, feeling a little like a first grader. I wish I could walk back into a Woolworth’s, the five and dime, as it was called to buy a Big Chief thick pad of paper. Today I went into Staples, but it was slick, impersonal, and not nearly as much fun as buying paper and pencils in the same place where you could find a pretty bracelet or rose scented soap. But still, as I pried open a new set of pens, I felt smart and ready for school, or for writing. Be sure to capture some of your own school memories–each generation has a new and different experience of school. In Vera Brittain’s Testament of Youth, for instance, written about the era of WWI in England, I learn about the subjects required for high school and the first year of college–Greek, the classics, Byron, Dante. Tell your children or grandchildren what it was like for you in school, what you learned, how you felt about it, the sensual details of your world. That way they can join you, time traveling through worlds that you create on the page. Open a new notebook with all its blank pages waiting for your stories, and begin. By the way, Brittain’s memoir is a classic about the world of another era–pre-WWI in a small village in England. Her writing is superb, and she captures so well the joys of youth and the tragedies of her generation after the war started, it’s as if you are with her back in the early part of the century. Calling All Speakers! The NAMW Fall Telesummit, scheduled for Friday October 15, 2010, is shaping up, and we want feedback from you. Our theme for this Telesummit is Emerging Trends for Authors in the Digital Age: How and Where to be Successfully Published. At this day long event, open to the public, we wil present information about web 2.0, developing the skills you need to get published, and ways to market and promote your work. If you know anyone with expertise in these areas, would like to speak or would like to request a topic of particular interest to you, please let us know by contact Staci at Staci at namw.org. We received a lot of great responses to our August teleseminar with Mary Mackey about using poetry to inspire your memoir writing. My first autobiographical sketches were through painting and poetry, but then I realized that parts of the story were falling through those forms, and chose prose as a way to weave the story together, connecting how I saw the world of the Great Plains and my family through poetic imagery. If you missed the teleseminar, be sure to login to the member area to listen to it. I think it will inspire you as much as it did me and the members who were with us on the phone. We are looking forward to a terrific fall with roundtable speakers and teleseminars that bring so much expertise to help you with your writing life–Jane Friedman, Heather Cariou & Adair Lara, to mention a few. And for our next Roundtable, which is now open to the public at no charge, this Thursday, you can now send us your questions in advance via email or by posting them in the comments section on this page on the NAMW website. Be sure to register by clicking here to participate live on the call or to receive an email with a link to the audio recording of the call, shortly following the call.  And don’t forget to post or email your questions! Remember–be brave, write your stories! Fondly, Linda Joy Upcoming Events at NAMW We have several events and new workshops that are being planned for the coming months at NAMW that will be helpful to the development of your skills as writers, memoirists, or personal historians. You can find all the finalized events outlined below, but please be sure to visit the NAMW website often for new additions! September Public NAMW Memoir Roundtable Teleconversation: September 2, 2010: Evaluating Your First Page for Red Flags with Jane Friedman, Contributing Editor at Writer’s Digest & Linda Joy Myers, NAMW President Cost: FREE FOR ALL| Click Here to Register & receive call-in details via email Intermediate to Advanced Healing Memoir & Spiritual Autobiography Teleworkshops – 9 sessions with Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., NAMW President $375 for NAMW Lifetime Members / $390 for NAMW Annual members/ $525 for non-NAMW members | Become a member to receive a discount! MONDAYS 11:00 AM PDT September 20th through November 20th TUESDAYS 3:00 PM PDT September 21st through November 30th FRIDAYS 9:00 AM PDT September 10th through November 19th September NAMW Member-only Teleseminar September 17, 2010: Standing in Your Truth:  Finding the Courage to Tell the Story You Need to Tell with Heather Cariou, Author of “Target Stores Recommended Read,” Sixtyfive Roses: A Sister’s Memoir. Cost: FREE FOR NAMW MEMBERS | Become a Member Writing Your Memoir One Story at a Time Tele-class – 6 Tele-classes with Online Support Component with Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D. $175 for NAMW Lifetime Members / $190 for NAMW Annual members / $325 for non-NAMW members | Become a NAMW member to receive a discount! 6 FRIDAYS Beginning October 1st (No Class October 15) 1 PM PDT | 2 MDT | 3 CDT | 4 EDT October NAMW Public Memoir Writing Roundtable Tele-conversation: October 7, 2010: Prepare to Write Non-fiction in November with Nina Amir, Author & Founder of the Write Non-Fiction in November Challenge and Linda Joy Myers, NAMW President Cost: FREE FOR ALL| Watch your Email for Registration Details! October NAMW Member-only Teleseminar October 22, 2010: with Adair Lara, author of Naked, Drunk & Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay. Watch the NAMW website for full details, coming soon! Cost: FREE FOR NAMW MEMBERS | Become a Member Writing in Wine Country: October 29-October 31, 2010: 2010 Harvest Writing Retreat with Linda Joy Myers. Weekend Writing Retreat Workshop with Wine Tasting and Spa Treatment Options. Visit the NAMW Website for full details including new lodging & entertainment options! NAMW Featured Member We are pleased to announce that MaryLynn Archibald has been selected by the NAMW Advisory Board as the NAMW Featured Member of the month for September 2010! You can visit the NAMW website to see our interview with MaryLynn. Congratulations, MaryLynn! MaryLynn recently stopped by the NAMW blog on her blog tour and we are happy to report that Lynn Goodwin is the randomly selected winner of a copy of Accidental Cowgirl:  Six Cows, No Horse and No Clue. Congratulations, Lynn! Beginnings by Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D. MFT–NAMW President Memoir writers often tell me: “My memoir has been whispering in my ear for a long time. I finally decided to listen to it.” That’s what our stories do–they invite us in and invite us to listen. As we listen to that small voice, a yearning comes over us to write down our memories. After all, they are special to us, they have formed who we are. We ARE stories, we contain within us worlds of amazing adventures and soul stirring moments along with moments of heartbreak and soaring happiness. We have litanies of turning points and meaningful moments, and it is up to us to make them into a story that others can read and appreciate. But first, we must write it for ourselves. But–I’m not a “Writer”! Most people don’t feel they can write or somehow deserve to write down their stories, but rather than worry about that, the best thing to do is to BEGIN. Most memoir writers have these kinds of questions: Where do I begin? What about my family? What is my truth anyway? Will I lose friends and families if I tell it like it was? I don’t have any writing background–what if it’s boring or doesn’t make sense? It’s important to keep an ongoing list of the memories and scenes that have the most meaning to you, and keep adding to the list. Have a copy with you in your journal, and keep a list in the computer. Think about the turning points in your life–the times that changed your life forever. Visualize these special times, noticing the colors, sounds, and aromas around you. Who is in your scene? What are they doing? What are you doing and how do you feel? Sit down with paper and pen, or at the computer and freewrite–allowing the words flow from the pen, immersing yourself in what you see, feel, and know. Write for twenty minutes without stopping. This method bypasses the critic and distractions that we have when we first write. Set a timer. Then when you are done, you can feel happy and proud that you wrote that day! Do this three times a week, drawing from your lists. Soon you will have a body of stories, and the beginning of your memoir. Writing Prompts for September This is how you do it: Write about the first day of school. What were you looking forward to and what were you leaving behind? School is about learning and it’s also about friends, teachers, routines of the week, sports, and growing up year by year. Choose some scenes that show how you felt about school without saying the feeling. Describe a mentor or teacher who influenced you or changed your life. How did you meet and how old were you? What did you learn from this person? Write a scene about meeting him or her, and reflect upon how you are different from having known this person. Food is an important part of our memories–family picnics and barbecues, special loving dishes that your grandmother, aunt, or mother fixed. What was the favorite pot luck dish your family would brag about? Write a story using sensual details of sound, sight, taste, and juicy description to allow us to savor the food with you. Reading and writing: reflect on books you loved or hated; how did you feel about writing–were you supported to keep writing or did you feel turned off by it, and why? Write an autobiography of your writing life from the beginning to now. Write a list about the 10 important memories of your childhood. Then move into adolescence, young adult, and go through each decade. This will help you to stay organized and it will feed your memory banks with more memories. Find photos to go with your memory list. Write portraits from these photos, snapshots of moments you want to preserve. It is important to know yourself and your feelings. You can feel better in just a few minutes. Write like this every day. This is the first day of the rest of your healthy life. NAMW Featured Work for September: Naked, Drunk & Writing: Shed Your Inhibitions and Craft a Compelling Memoir or Personal Essay by Adair Lara Editor’s Note:  Adair’s book is available beginning today at your local bookstore or online! The Synopsis The material is right there in front of you. You’ve known yourself for, well, a lifetime–and you finally feel ready to share your story with the world. Yet when it actually comes time to put pen to paper, you find that you’re stumped. Enter Adair Lara: award-winning author, seasoned columnist, beloved writing coach, and the answer to all of your autobiographical quandaries. Naked, Drunk, and Writing is the culmination of Lara’s vast experience as a writer, editor, and teacher. It is packed with insights and advice both practical (“writing workshops you pay for are the best–it’s too easy to quit when you’ve made no investment”) and irreverent (“apply Part A [butt] to Part B [chair]“), answering such important questions as: How do I know where to start my piece and where to end it? How do I make myself write when I’m too scared or lazy or busy? What makes a good pitch letter, and how do I get mine noticed? I’m ready to publish–now where do I find an agent? If I show my manuscript to my mother, will I ever be invited to a family gathering again? Purchase the Book: Buy from Amazon.com About the Author Adair Lara started her career writing for local magazines–first at San Francisco Focus, the city magazine, and then at SF, a design magazine at which she passed herself off as someone passionately interested in interior design. She wrote freelance humor pieces for the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday section, and in 1989 they invited her to join the staff and write a regular column of my own. The newspaper was famed then for its columnists, which include Pulitzer Prize winners Stanton Delaplane, Charles McCabe, and Herb Caen. She has published some ten books or so, including several collections… Read more Contests & Outside Events First Person Writing That Sells, with Adair Lara Tuesday Evenings, Sept 7 through Nov 23 Where: 97 Scott Street, San Francisco (parking is easier than you think) [Google Maps] When: 6:45 pm to 9:45, Tuesdays – for 10 Tuesdays between Sept 7 and Nov 23 (there will be weeks with no class during that period) Naomi Wolf’s Non-fiction Book Proposal Webinar Writing Class NAMW Members receive a 10% discount off the cost for either of the two three-class Sessions.  Email info@namw.org for details! Session 1: September 14th, 21st, and 28th 8pm – 10pm EST Session 2: October 13th, 20th, and 27th  11am – 1pm EST The Third San Francisco Writing for Change Conference: Changing the World One Book at a Time will take place November 13 and 14, 2010 at the Hitlon Financial/Chinatown. The keynoters: million-copy selling authors John Robbins (Diet for a New America) and Dan Millman (The Way of the Peaceful Warrior). Authors will discuss food, politics, personal development, the environment, social issues, law, spirituality, and technology. Attendees can pitch their books to literary agents and editors from major houses. Women of Faith 2010 Writing Contest Submission Period: August 1, 2010 through January 15, 2011. All writers of previously unpublished full-length books, fiction or nonfiction, of any genre, subjects, and/or memoirs are eligible to enter. Click Here for complete contest details. Writer’s Block by Adair Lara, NAMW Member-only Teleseminar Presenter for OctoberHere’s the idea. On the desk is what appears to be a small cinder block… you know, grubby, off-white the color of old cottage cheese, two holes in the top. It’s about 4″ x 8″ and maybe 10″ high. But it’s not a cinder block at all. It’s a stack of peel-off pages. In the graphic on top, in the hole on the left side is “Writer’s Block” in big. Each page has a writing prompt, then perhaps four blank lined pages after it. Every Monday is a new assignment, weekends off. Try this: Set a kitchen timer for 15 minutes. Write as fast as you can — anything that comes to mind. Writing often feels like a duty — “I’m supposed to be writing.” A timer means you have to write only until the bell rings. My student, Cecilia Worth, described what it’s like for her to write in short timed bursts: I do not stop for a minimum of 15 minutes. What I have found is that it will be weird and superficial for a while, and suddenly, like breaking through a long cloudy airplane run and seeing the green field below, I consciously put off the voice that tells me to stop because I have to go to the store, to phone, to lay off because the topic is garbage. Sort of like I’m waving it off, while writing furiously, saying, wait, wait, I just have to finish this. This is certainly not a new exercise, but it works every time for me. I believe that doing it impresses my subconscious that writing is indeed a priority. Once I did this every day at the same time for three months, at the end of which my piece on a patient with HIV was published in the Sunday New York Times magazine. Steve Martin had this to say on the subject of writer’s block: “Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” His trick is to find a wonderful sentence in a novel, and copy it down. “Usually, that sentence will lead you to another sentence, and pretty soon your own ideas will start to flow. If they don’t, copy down the next sentence in the novel. You can safely use up to three sentences of someone else’s work—unless you’re friends, then two. The odds of being found out are very slim, and even if you are there’s no jail time.” Try it. Write for 15 minutes. Try to get image and detail into every sentence. You’ll be amazed at what comes up on your screen. Instead of saying, “My mother was untidy,” you’ll show us your mother in her laddered nylons, her shimmering slip with the lace coming off, the lipstick hastily slashed on. Editor’s Note: Adair is our NAMW Member-only Teleseminar presenter for October. This article is just a sneak-peek into what you’ll experience during her Teleseminar! Visit ThePowerOfMemoir.com for more details. Keep writing! If you have any questions, or would like to suggest a workshop, teleseminar or roundtable topic please let us know. Email us at: info@namw.org. Warm regards, Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D., MFT President & Founder National Association of Memoir Writers http://www.NAMW.org Be Brave. Write Your Story.

National Assn of Memoir Writers
Memories & Memoirs
1700 Solano Ave.
Berkeley CA 94707

National Association of Memoir Writers to Offer New Memoir Writing Tele-class this Fall

6 Memoir Writing Tele-classes with Online Writing Support Component

Writing Your Memoir One Story at a Time

Instructor:  Linda Joy Myers, Ph.D.

When:  6 Fridays Beginning October 1st (class will not meet October 15, 2010)
Time: 1 PM PDT | 2 MDT | 3 CDT | 4 EDT
Cost: $175 for NAMW Lifetime Members / $190 for NAMW Annual members / $325 for non-NAMW members | Become a NAMW member to receive a discount!

Writing a memoir is fun, challenging and…it asks you by the nature of being what it is, to dance with your memories, to dig into the images in your mind, and to relive them by recreating them on the page. Most of the time, this is enjoyable. How I enjoyed capturing some of the special moments of my life with people I loved—my great-grandmother in her garden, Mr. Brauninger my music teacher skipping into the fourth grade class, soaring on his violin. Other memories were more challenging—my mother coming and going on the train, the family struggles that I witnessed, my pounding heart.

This six week course will address both the emotional and the technical aspects of writing a memoir from truth and secrets to the reasons for writing in scene and learning about plot. You will be able to share vignettes from your own life in the workshop and receive feedback and support from your fellow writers.

Join us for “school” this fall in a memoir workshop that anyone can join. You do not need to already have a memoir started. You can begin now or come with your work in progress.

Class Outline:

Week One
Secrets and truth. Family conflicts. Having a Beginner’s Mind. Mining Your Memories

Beginning means to be open to what needs to come. Sometimes we need to figure out how to deal with the secrets and family issues before we can feel free to write. We will talk about truth, secrets, how to begin, and how to create a safe writing world for yourself in this first meeting. You will begin to list the memories and snapshots you want to capture.

Week Two
Themes of your Life and Your Turning Points

We will talk about the importance of finding your themes; the turning points exercise helps you to do this. The themes of your work are a thread that continues throughout the piece, a path through the forest of ideas and words. Dark and light stories in your memoir—keeping the balance.

Week Three
Scenes; Sensual Details, and Creating Memories on the Page

Scenes are important building blocks of stories. We will talk about what makes up a scene, and learn about using sensual details of sight, sound, texture, and taste.

Week Four
Dialogue and setting; Character Portraits; Painting with Words

Creating worlds with words. Painting with words. Word play by writing quick flashes to capture moments. Experimenting with language, imagery, and snapshots.

Week Five
The narrative arc; how to understand what it is and how to use it to help you craft your memoir. The narrative voice, narrative arc, and plot create a structure for your work.

Week Six
The Power of Writing a Memoir

We will wrap up the course by listing the ways you can keep your writing life going, finding a schedule and developing a plan for your memoir. The benefits, challenges and rewards of writing a memoir and keeping your writing life supported are all part of being a writer. Issues such as healing, resolution, and forgiveness are part of this week’s discussion.

An Interview with Memorist MaryLynn Archibald, Author of Accidental Cowgirl, Six Cows, No Horse and No Clue

Linda Joy: What you are working on?

MaryLynn: I’m working on my third memoir, which is as yet untitled. The title business is giving me fits, but I’m having fun with this one, which chronicles my early life (as a total innocent in Soquel, California), contrasted with my late teens (as a total innocent in San Francisco, California).

The turning point in my happy childhood idyll was the birth of my little brother, Freddie, when I was fifteen. Quel betrayal! Before that, I was a blissfully “only” child. After that, I had to work hard to regain my parents’ attention, and that of my grandparents, who’d often behave as though the little darling was the only kid in the room!

This was a huge blow to one who had been the center of attention all her life. I had a variety of jobs during that time. I left home at seventeen to become a model and a chorus girl, but spent a lot of time as a sales clerk, restaurant hostess (I was too klutzy to carry dishes, so waitressing was out), and switchboard operator. You’ll have to read the book to learn how all that came to pass.

Linda Joy: If you could imagine the title of your story—what would it be?

MaryLynn: If I had a title, I’d be so happy. I’ve come up with quite a few that just don’t satisfy. As I’ve noted elsewhere, the difficulty with finding a title for a nonfiction book is that it must tell you specifically what it’s about or nobody will want to read it. I’ll let you know when I settle on one. Suggestions will be gratefully accepted.

Linda Joy: What helps you to get your writing done

MaryLynn: I don’t have a set writing schedule. I know, I know, I should. The thing that keeps me honest, and keeps me writing, is my wonderful critique group of five very perceptive people. Showing up with something new for them to digest and spit out once a month reminds me that I need to be writing all the time. Also, it keeps me busy implementing the wonderful revisions they often suggest.

Linda Joy: What are your five favorite books?

MaryLynn: My five favorite books. Oh boy, that’s a tough one. My favorites change as I read, and I read a lot of different types of books—not only in my genre. My current favorites are: Saturday, by Ian McEwan; A Perfect Spy, by John Le Carré; A Suitable Boy, by Vikram Seth; Sea of Poppies, by Amitav Ghosh; East of the Mountains, by David Guterson; and Hissy Fit, by Mary Kay Andrews, but that list changes daily. Ask me tomorrow.

Linda Joy: Is there anyone who does not want you to write your memoir?

MaryLynn: I’m happy to say there is no one who doesn’t want me to write my memoir, unless, of course, it’s my brother—but he doesn’t know yet that he has a starring role. I’ll keep you posted on his reaction.

Linda Joy: Tell us about the audience for your memoir.

MaryLynn: My audience, as I see it, is perhaps a little wider than the audience I had for Accidental Cowgirl, although I expect there will be some overlap. I believe my audience will be mostly women from the ages of 40 (this group seems to have a lot of curiosity about San Francisco in the ‘50s and ‘60s—an era their parents may have lived through but didn’t talk about much) on up. And of course, San Franciscans.

Linda Joy: What is the most significant turning point in your life?

Mary Lynn: As I stated earlier, the most significant turning point in my life was the birth of my little brother, just when I was at an age of uncertainty and vulnerability. Adolescence was bad enough without having a little brother young enough to be my own child to babysit, after having been the center of my parents’ world for fifteen years. That was a definite blow. But I recovered.

—© 2010 Mary Lynn Archibald

About Mary Lynn: Mary Lynn Archibald is a freelance editor and copywriter, and the author of two books: Briarhopper: A History, a memoir of one woman’s life from 1913-1945; and Accidental Cowgirl: Six Cows, No Horse and No Clue, a lighthearted personal memoir of a greenhorn’s life on a small cattle ranch. Her forthcoming memoir, due out in early 2011, deals in part with her life as a switchboard operator, chorus girl, sales clerk, fashion model, and Miss San Francisco finalist. You can find her online at: www.redroom.com/author/mary-lynn-i-archibald/ (where she maintains a more-or-less active blog); http://accidentalcowgirl.com/, (where you can purchase her books); www.winecountrywriter.com/; (where she maintains a writing and editing website), or find her on Facebook, at: http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home/, (where she hangs out a lot more than she should.

Jane Friedman, contributing editor at Writer’s Digest, knows all about the editing challenges we writers have, and she’s going to help us at our memoir writing roundtable this month.

Please join us–this event is free to all! So please spread the word about Jane’s visit to NAMW. Register now for this free event and mark your calendar– Thursday September 2 at 4 PM PDT, 5 MDT, 6 CDT, and 7 EDT.

Remember, at these memoir writing roundtable discussions you can ask questions. So dial in for an opportunity to talk with Jane, an expert editor and writing guru!

Evaluating Your First Page for Red Flags

Date:     Thursday September 2, 2010

Time: 4 PM PDT |5 PM MDT | 6 PM CDT |  7 PM EDT

Cost: FREE FOR EVERYONE (NAMW Members–The dial in details can be found below–if you can’t see them, simply login to the member area to view this post.  If you are not an NAMW member, simply sign up for this free call by using the form near the bottom of this page).

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Not Available for the Live Call? Post your questions in the comments section of this page OR email them to info@NAMW.org.

NAMW members will be able to access a link to download the audio mp3 of this call following the event.

Not a member? Sign up below and you will receive an email with a link to download the call, shortly following the event.

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Research has shown that writing positive stories about ourselves is as healing as writing about bad memories, but I’ve observed big changes when writers dig in the darkness for deeper levels of truth. We all want to avoid unnecessary pain, yet healing comes from balancing our system and not staying trapped in memories and negative feelings about the past. Our fears, anger, jealousy, insecurity, and hurt are real, but they can interfere with living with a sense of peace, forgiveness of self and others, and juicy creative energy.

Writer’s I’ve worked with find it helpful to weave back and forth between the dark and the lighter stories to create balance, and recover from the heaviness of writing painful stories. The path of emotional healing is like cleaning out an old wound: it hurts while we are cleaning it out but we feel better afterward.

Make a list of the dark topics that you suspect are important, but aren’t yet ready to write. List them by title or theme. Write down the age you were when these difficult times happened. Write down what you did to cope with the event at the time. How do you feel now about the incident? What would you have liked to happen differently? Place these stories on a timeline so you can get a perspective on the clustering of events.

Make a list of the light stories, stories that bring you a feeling of well being, happiness, contentment, and safety. They may include memories about love, spiritual experiences, and miracles. Stand fully in the light of the positive stories and feel them in your body. Hold the images of the positive stories while you consider the dark stories list. This technique helps to integrate the polarities of our psyche.

The reader needs relief too, as most readers will put a book down if there are uninterrupted dark stories. I alternated dark and light chapters in my memoir Don’t Call Me Mother so the reader could enjoy moments of lightness and joy while also learning about the story of abandonment that weaves through the book, and I brought the reader to an ending with forgiveness and healing.

The power of writing a memoir is that the truth really does make you free. You don’t have to share your story with anyone. Having the freedom to express yourself freely and fully can release you from the story you have lived, and allows you to move forward with grace and forgiveness. Keep writing!